When I Exchange My Heart for Yours

"I'm so terrified of getting married," my friend said to me today. "I have this fear that I'm going to wake up one morning and see my husband and realize that I'm not actually in love with him and not know what the hell I was thinking."

Then we hear these words floating from the radio. /And I'll surrender up my heart/And swap it for yours/. *

And this is what I think it might be talking about, this whole idea of marriage and falling in love, and then staying there. Working for it, and protecting it, and reveling in that heart exchange.

I don't know about love, or romance, or marriage first hand, but I think it might be a lovely thing. An adventure, certainly, it will be. And someday, maybe, I will have a heart with which to exchange this one I temporarily call my own.

Oh, Darling,
Let us be adventurers,
You and I. **

*Ed Sheeran- Lego House
**- Izabella  

The Thing About Being Brave

The thing about being brave is, you can never go back. you can look back, but never retry or repeat.
the roller coaster ride that never loops back around.

Tonight it's raining, dark, thunder and lightning.

"I don't wonder, when it thunders, if I'm safe in Daddy's arms." *

But I do wonder, when I take risks, if I've made a huge mistake

But that's the thing about being brave, you can't hit "Redo".

We use the sound of thunder that follows a flash of lightning to measure how far away the lightning is.

And maybe, in some strange way, I use the magnitude of my heart's quaking to measure the height from which I jump each time I take a risk.

"You are so brave!" my friend said to me this week, "You talk about stuff, and then you actually do it! You take the risk, and it is such an encouragement to me, to see you stepping out in love and risking it all."

I sometimes feel brave, and mostly I feel foolish. Sometimes, I even feel a slight pang of regret.

But if thunder reminds me of how close I am in my Daddy's arms. Perhaps I can learn to feel the same with each new cliff I jump, and step I take, toward a braver and more risky me.

Because, I would much rather live life doing all the things that fear tries to hold me back from, and feel the fragility of my heartbeats, then reach the end of my days and realize, I have yet to live.

*lyrics from When It Thunders by Jason Upton

Where the Lines Begin to Grey

Life is lived in the tension
the moments in between.
The lines between you and I blur as we unfold.
Perhaps one day we will look back, and see the blur was when your heart met mine.
Maybe my eyes are just out of focus.
For now I tip-toe through this maze, where the lines begin to grey.

On the Road

"I take a moment to become aware of Holy Spirit, because the One I am aware of is the One I will manifest." - Bill Johnson 

The road to healing is a strange one. Such highs and lows, and much in betweens. Each day, a little more ground is gained and some new hurt is discovered; a dance into the arms of Love. Two steps forward, one step aside. The moments of exhilaration are followed by a rush of fear and recollection, each fighting for spotlight in my mind.

And yet, Love is all around. There is something so deep and profound about the awareness of Love and Spirit and Joy. Spirit bring all of the above. To live aware of Him is my greatest pleasure and task.